Healing Your Heart

We’ve all heard about the five stages of grief. But what happens when your experience doesn’t follow that model at all? Resilience researcher Lucy Hone began to question how we think about grief after a devastating loss in her own life. She shares the techniques she learned to help her cope with tragedy.

Additional Resources


Resilient Grieving: How to Find Your Way Through Devastating Loss

Lucy Hone, The Experiment,  2017.  (New Zealand edition: What Abi Taught Us: A Mother’s Struggle to Come to Terms with her Daughter’s Death, Allen & Unwin, 2016)

The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us about Life after Loss, George Bonanno, Basic Books, 2010

The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles, Karen Reivich, Andrew Shatte, Harmony, 2003


Resilience research: Case studies with Christchurch earthquakes and COVID-19 aftermath in New Zealand, Lucy Hone, Chris P. Jansen and Denise M. Quinlan chapter in Wellbeing and Resilience Education, edited by Mathew A. White and Faye McCallum, Routledge, 2021

Cautioning Healthcare Professionals: Bereaved Persons are Misguided Through the Stages of Grief, Margaret Stroebe, Henk Schut, Kathrin Boerner, OMEGA-Journal of Death and Dying, 2017

The Science of Resilience: Implications for the Prevention and Treatment of Depression, Steven M. Southwick, Dennis S. Charney, Science, 2012

The dual process of coping with bereavement: Rationale and Description, Margaret Stroebe, Henk Schut, Death Studies, 1999

Grab Bag:

Lucy Hone’s TED Talk: The three secrets of resilient people


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